you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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