I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
