She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
