This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
