He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
did you just send me my own nude
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Randomize