on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
