took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
