It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
