I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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