I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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