Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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