Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
