perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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