I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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