dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
