Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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