"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm at about main and main street
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
