Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
