Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize