You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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