If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize