OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
