Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Randomize
