Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
