This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
