Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
