Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
