How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
