I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
