it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I think I just shit out all my problems.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
