My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
There r osticjed everywhere
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
