brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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