32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
