they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
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