You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
