i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
