i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize