No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He did a backflip because drugs
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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