roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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