His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
