You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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