maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
