Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
