I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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