She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize