Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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