Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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