your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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