And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
