You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
