May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
