3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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