Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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