My brain says no but my pants say off.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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