I skipped work to stalk him.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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