I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I need to align my fucking chakras
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
