first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
