I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
