why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
