We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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