First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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